The Disappointment We Feel

Proverbs 23:17-18 “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day. Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.”

I’ve needed God more in the last few days than I have in a long time. It’s always amazing to me how the loss of something can evoke such a passionate and yet depressing response to life as we know it in general.

I’ve always handled death fairly well. And I’ve had instances in my life where I had to re-home a beloved pet. Certain people in my life have never understood why or how I could love animals so much, but I just always have. I’ve felt every loss but also felt each loss differently. I’ve made decisions that were hard and decisions that sucked. Life tends to teach us lessons in each circumstance we encounter. What are you rambling about Tiffany?

A lot actually. It’s here, where I guess it is all interconnected.

God gives us gifts on earth to heal us. They are sometimes in the form of animals. I lost my dog this week. He wasn’t just any dog, he was the dog who picked me. He chose me. We were both the student and the teacher together. We originally went to just “look” for a puppy that was suitable for my daughter, my husband and I, alone through a shelter full of pit bulls. In the corner kennel, was a small, long-legged black and white “mix” of a puppy. There was something different about him. He was calm in the mix of erratic and loud pit bulls.

We left the shelter touched by his demeanor. And later that day, my daughter was taken to meet him, my husband and I both secretly hoped she picked him. You see, she had saved her money for a puppy. She also fell in love with our long-legged guy. We kept his shelter name, Cole.

What we didn’t know is that Cole chose everyone in our family in a different manner. He built specific and unique relationships with each member of our household. Even our hateful & tiny chihuahua. Cole worked tediously and tirelessly to win over every heart in our home.

Cole was my redemption. Every mistake I ever made loving humans and animals was redeemed through him. He was even a “hand-holder”. Sometimes he would sit with me and simply want to just hold hands. His giant paw would curl around my hand and he would give me his quiet and content filled “love stare”.

Cole felt everything. He felt everyone. He was a true gift to our family from God. Because Cole showed us who God is. I know it seems silly, or some say, “Oh it’s just a dog.” Maybe some are just dogs or just animals. But there are some…some of them are special. They are sent with a purpose. They ask for nothing and they give us everything. Cole was everything love is supposed to be. They sew us back together, forgive us our sins, and love us unconditionally, they are God’s spirit.

Cole had been abandoned under a deteriorating building and put in a kennel. Cole was the last of his litter to be “chosen”, and I have no doubt that is because he was waiting on his family. We were his family in every single sense of the word. He taught us each a different lesson.

I wouldn’t be a very good Christian if I didn’t divulge my walk with God honestly.

While I may be mad at my heavenly Father and I may not understand, I will forever be grateful that he sent Cole to be with our family. And when He called Cole home, I have no doubt that Cole turned one last time to see his mamma lying in the road simply wanting to “hold his hand” one last time.

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